David has gone back :(

The past few days, the last few that David spent here were just magical. We didn't do anything crazy or out of the ordinary, but just spending quality time together and enjoying each other's company was absolutely the best.

Since the Blue Mountains, I had to be at school for HAZOP on Wednesday and Thursday. So while I was out, David was exploring the city himself and going to the beach and even buying groceries! On those evenings we tried making curry. David bought an amazing curry paste and bought coconut milk to go with it. It was absolutely delicious and we finally made some great curry. Which we had on both Wednesday and Thursday night! On Thursday we went up the tower to get a view from Sydney from above. Sorry, Sydneysiders, but Toronto's CN tower has got you beat on that one.

On Friday we went to explore the Nothern Shore and had this great walk planned out, but just a few hours into it, we were both so tired and the weather wasn't that great, so we cut it short and headed back into the city. I finally bought a bikini I like! And we went home and took a nap thinking we'd get up and party, but we kept sleeping!! So we didn't do anything, just slept the whole evening and night away.

On Saturday, David's last full day in Sydney, we went to Bondi. The weather was gorgeous! We rented a boogie board and really had some fun in the water. The waves were huge! Once it cooled down, we went back home, changed and headed to Leichhardt (Little Italy) for some dinner. After walking around Norton St for a while, we found this amazing BYO Italian restaurant called Pavorotti's on Norton. David had steak and I had veal. Calamari was our appetizer (or entree as they call it here!). It was a delicious meal with some delicious wine I had bought up in the Hunter Valley 2 months ago. It was McGuigan 2002 Shiraz - just yummy. It was just a perfect night. The full moon was out. We were dressed up. We had some coffee and gelato after dinner and then headed home.

This morning, we packed David up and I went with him to the airport. We said our final goodbye. It was so hard. Almost harder than it was back in July. Coming back home alone, just felt awful. We just had such an amazing time together in Sydney and now that he's gone, I really feel lonely. I've been an emotional wreck this whole afternoon. He's been in the air only 3 hours. I just miss him so much already. And coming back here is hard, because everything here reminds me of him. He was just here. We were just laughing together. Exploring together. Having so much fun. It was a vacation for me too! And now, I have to get back to the routine. I have lots of uni work to do. School ends in just 3 weeks! I have some travel stuff I have to organize as well. And now I'm starting to realize that it's going to be hard traveling without him. He's my travel partner! I can't imagine exploring this country without him, but I will have to. It's been my goal now for over a year. It just hurts to be away from David. I love him with all my heart and we just have the most amazing time when we're together. And now I'm so sad that he is gone. *sigh* I just feel zapped of energy and motivation for anything. I know at some level it's a little silly. I'll see him in January. But it won't be the same. For the next little while, we'll always be visiting eachother, not acutally living close - not a short walk or drive away, within the same city. I know I'll feel better once I talk to him and once I know he's landed. Right now, I'm just trying to fight back the tears (although I haven't been very successful) and trying to keep myself together. Loneliness hurts. Being away from the ones you love is hard. Even though I'm doing it for the right reasons. And even though I have so much to look forward to. It hurts. It hurts more than I expected. I just want to wake up and feel better. I know I will.

I'm so thankful he came to visit me. David really enjoyed Sydney and I realy enjoyed his company. It felt like 'home' when he was here. It was just so fantastic. It just takes time. It gets easier with each passing hour. I've been through this before. I talked to my parents and my sister. I miss them too. And I'm glad my friends who were online on MSN, I just needed people to talk to today and to be around others. I needed distractions.

So I think I'll read this in a few days and realize it may be a little over dramatic. And it's just a stream of consciousness, it probably doesn't make much sense. But that's how I'm feeling at this very moment.

David makes me so happy. He is so loving and he treats me with respect. We just have a ball together... no matter the situation. He always makes me laugh. I'm so thankful to have so much love in my life and to share such a special connection with a truly wonderful person. I just look forward to spending many happy times with him and making so many more fun memories. We started looking through pictures last night since the time we first met and we just laughed our butts off the whole time remembering all the funny moments. An hour into it, we had barely scratched the surface, so many memories and pictures. It would takes hours to get through them all! I'm just so lucky and so happy.

I'll finish this blabbering and end on a happy note: Although life takes us in different directions, I'm confident we can get through anything if it's meant to be. And in the meantime I will cherish the moments I have with those I love around me and that will give me the strength to get through these lows of loneliness and sadness. And I will travel and every picture I take and every moment that passes, I know I will wish I have David, my family and friends with me to share it all, but I'm on a journey and an adventure of self discovery and growth which has to be done by myself at this time. And in the end, I'll be a stronger person and know exactly what is important and valuable to me. I will get the most out of this trip and out of life.

At dinner in Leichhardt.

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