The last few days...

This week has just gone by in a flash. I booked parts of my trip and have been working on my essay. Bo-ring! You know you're *really motivated* to write an essay when you'd rather watch a political debate between leaders of a country you can't even vote in!! Yup... that was 20 minutes well spent. But finally I'm finished, and with some finishing touches and one more overview, I'll hand it in.

I did find time to go to Bondi yesterday to celebrate Kristina's birthday. Had some nice conversations with people. Unfortunately, my ride home was a little too drunk for me and still wanted to stay out, so I decided to bus/cab back to Newtown. A good choice I think despite the scariness of taking a bus at 1am. Surprisingly though, there were tons of people out so I felt safe. Also, earlier this week I applied for a tourist visa since my student visa would have expired during my travels. That went smoothly and I can now stay in the country! woot!

Only 5 days left until I'm out of SUV and out of Sydney. I'm getting quite anxious about my trip and nervous and excited. There are just tons of emotions running through me. I just hope nothing bad happens and that I have a good time. I've invested quite a bit of money and time and sacrificed quite a bit, and I would just hate for 'shit to hit the fan'. But I guess if it does, it'll be a learning opportunity. So keep your fingers crossed that I don't encounter anything deadly or miss a bus or get robbed or get sick or worse or in fact, anything else that could make a trip suck. I'll be all on my own with no one to cry to and just need to face whatever comes my way. Should be an interesting 2 months.

I've also been doing a lot of reflection on my time in Sydney. Sadly, as I presumed, there is still so much I would have liked to do (like actually watch a performance in the Opera House, or go to the fish markets at the pier or walk through the multitude of historic buildings in the area) and regret that things didn't exactly turn out like I expected. School was more difficult than I anticipated - I know I've passed everything, but for those who know me, I'm not a "just passing" type of girl. Although working last year did demotivate me a little by shifting my focus away from emphasis on marks to just growing and learning through experiences. I tried hard to do well, but adjusting to new expectations and learning strategies has been overwhelming coupled with the new surroundings and excitement. Design took over my life and I wasn't able to give the other classes the time they required. Did I work and try too much or not enough - I don't know how to answer that question. I don't know if I really did give it my best or if I could really have done better. There's always that part of me that says I can do better, but am I just downplaying how hard I worked? I don't know. I'll be upset if I don't see the grades I'm used to but that is what I'm expecting and I'm being realistic. Either way I'm sure I'll get over it and move on. Marks are marks and they don't define what I've really learned. Besides, I think I've established bigger goals than just busting my butt for an extra few percent. Again, we'll see how quickly my attitude changes when final marks are released.

Secondly, it's been harder than expected to find a niche among other people here and find a good crowd of people to belong to. I've had numerous acquaintances and great conversations, but not sure yet if I've made any life long friends. But is that what I wanted out of this? Only in the past few weeks (of course as my time here is nearing a close) have I really started to feel comfortable, outgoing and connecting with others. I just have to accept that it takes me longer to build friendships. I'm not the kind of fake person, that makes quick, superficial friendships and I don't like being with people like that either. People who say "I'll call you" but never do or hang out in a huge crowd with drama and immaturity that is just a waste of time. I am so over the cliquey nature that I despised in high school and it's just so stupid how it still exists in University. As much as I try to be outgoing and want to be more so, I have an introverted personality. As much as I love going out, I also like staying in and doing things on my own - something that doesn't necessarily help my sociability. Traveling on my own will be quite the experience because I'll be forced to be more social than I'm used to if I want to have fun and meet people. Besides, I will always be sharing a dorm room with at least 3 other people - so I better start chattin' it up.

The past 4 months has honestly just flown by. I can't believe it myself. Sometimes I still think, wow... I'm here. I'm actually doing this. I don' t think this will all really hit me until I'm back in Toronto. Although I feel like I'm the same person and didn't seem to change much, I have a feeling that I will notice changes when I return. And if not, well I still have a pretty good time and now know what it's like to immerse in a different culture and either sink or swim. I think I'm still swimming.